In Oct 2023 my daughter was suspected of having anorexia, and we were referred to a specialist CAMHS service. Fear, the unknown and helplessness faced me – as a mother I wanted to ‘fix it’ but anorexia doesn’t follow any rules to be fixed quickly. My daughters crying and sadness was the worst for me, she had little energy to speak, to react to care. Her feet hurt when she walked, her hair started to fall out, everything scared her, but she wanted to dance!

I was on alert once we started with treatment. I had been told by others you have to fight to get what you need. There was and still is no dietician in the service caring for children with eating disorders – this is unforgivable. They wanted her to stop all activity, but I did not agree and allowed her to continue to dance. We reduced the classes, but she didn’t give up the one thing that made her happy. I sourced a private dietician, a psychotherapist, a yoga teacher…, anything that I thought might help, and it probably did help me and my feeling of helplessness. Did they help my daughter?

The psychotherapist identified behaviours that my daughter had and had hidden for the previous 6 years – we were able to bring this to CAREDS and secure a psychiatric review and have since been accepted by CAHMS for therapy… awaiting an appointment! It has been a long difficult 18 months but the sitting, the listening, sometimes to silence, the connection, the trust, the just being there, has gotten us through – still a bit to go but she is now weight restored, and she is dancing – this brings her such joy and to such a happy place.

For me listening but questioning everything that was suggested, taking time to consider and going with my gut worked. We kept her out of hospital; but we were lucky I guess, she accepted she had a problem from the start and wanted to get better, some of the time.

Bodywhys was a huge help and support particularly in the first 6 months – the non-judgemental responses to phone calls and emails were truly helpful and the programmes very educational and relevant.