The start of my eldest daughter’s anorexia took me completely by surprise. At 12, she collapsed after swimming, and I discovered she had been hiding food in her bedroom. My initial reaction was anger and shouting—a response I deeply regret. If you’re reading this, know it’s not your fault. Blaming yourself won’t help anyone, least of all the person with the eating disorder. Be compassionate with yourself.

My daughter, now in her first year at university, has experienced three episodes of ED between ages 12 and 20. She now says she’ll never go back, and I am hopeful. People with an ED are often gentle, thoughtful, and bright but can struggle with self-identity, which is challenging in today’s social media-driven world.

As a family, we’ve used both public and private treatment pathways. Support systems saved me—close friends, my husband’s calm demeanour, my own counsellor, yoga, and the Bodywhys Pilar Family Support Programme. Their guidance on separating feelings from food was transformative. ED sufferers often numb emotions with restriction, and recovery can be emotionally intense. Early, specialised intervention is crucial before behaviours become ingrained.

To anyone facing this, take it one day at a time. Help is out there, and things can get better.